


Cooing Crows

by Ray_Murata



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Black Shadow - Freeform, Crows, Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 21:30:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 4,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10051430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ray_Murata/pseuds/Ray_Murata
Summary: Letters exchanged between Zevran Arainai and Warden Commander Alec Surana in early 9:32





	1. Z to A - My dear Warden

**Author's Note:**

> All letters have their visual version attached in the chapter. <3  
> The first letter is present in canon Dragon Age - Awakenings.

My dear warden,

Greetings from Antiva!

I would prefer to be where you are, my sweet. Antiva is so dull without you to brighten it. Even with the Crows trying to hunt me down, this place lacks the excitement of being at your side. Ah, well. I expect the Guildmaster will agree to meet me soon. Or maybe I should kill him. What do you think?

I hear the darkspawn have still not gone away? They are like houseguests who overstay their welcome, no? I am saddened you have to deal with such business without me.

I must deal with the Crows, but when I return to you, not even sharp razors will be able to separate us!

Until then, you remain in my dreams. Especially the naughty ones.

Yours always,

Z.


	2. A to Z - My heart

My heart,

Regards from Amaranthine.   
I regret not being there to guarantee that this letter will find you in one piece. If bloodshed is needed, promise me it won’t be yours. Do whatever you must, and return safely to my arms.

Know I’m holding you to all your promises. 

As for my end, Vigil’s Keep is no longer the ghastly silent mansion it was when you left. I’ve recruited more men into the ranks, whom I’m sure you will enjoy meeting, when you return. Oghren has re-joined me, for one, as well as Anders, an old friend from Kinloch Hold. Also Nathaniel Howe. Arl Rendon Howe’s son, whose initial plan was to take revenge on me for his father.

He is now a Warden under my command. It seems like I am a man of habits.

Though some habits I’ve picked from Commander Duncan do not sit well with me. The Joining is something visceral, and I wonder if perhaps it shouldn’t be done differently…

I shall think on it, do things my way. I am the Commander, after all.

It is pleasant to train them, but there’s no happiness that wouldn’t be sweeter in your company. Do not take long. Every part of me aches with your absence. Even my spleen.

Yours truly,

A.

PS. A man can’t handle an aching spleen for too long.


	3. Z to A - My sweet Alec

My sweet Alec,

Saluti from Antiva.

Walking down the leather district earlier this morning, I bought a new pair of boots thinking of the day I will find myself on the road back to our muddy Ferelden. As it is, however, that joyful moment is not yet upon me. The Guildmaster consistently delays my appointment, and while my bid is not heard, the Crows continue to hunt me down.

But do not worry, amore. They have had no luck in their task, nor will they.

I will keep my promises… Not even silverite blades will part us, gattino.

It worries me to learn that you’ve spared yet another who’s made an attempt on your life, and I hope that the similarities between him and your handsome Antivan lover stop there. It is difficult to fend off competition (or join them, no? Why not?) while I am this far. Oh, well… Do not forget you are stuck with me.

At any rate, it is good to hear that your Warden Order is growing under your expert command. One would think that the Darkspawn would cower and run upon the sight of you, no? They are truly mindless creatures if they do not know when to quit.

They sound a lot like the Crows, don’t you think?

You should know that I am going mad at night, da solo… I sorely miss your naughty magic tricks and warm hands, my Commander.

I will deal with the Crows soon, one way or another, and return to your bed.

Tuo, sempre.

Z.

PS. Heal your spleen if you need to, amore mio.


	4. A to Z - Zevran

Zevran,

Greetings from Amaranthine!

I’ve been busy in the past weeks, making Vigil’s Keep the mighty Warden fortress it ought to be. My men and I have gone into a few interesting adventures of late, and recruited more men -- In fact, I can’t call them that. One is a Spirit of Justice inhabiting a corpse. I promise you I am not making this up (for once!). I am just awfully glad he doesn’t smell as cadavers usually do… 

The other is a Dalish woman, Velanna. A beautiful and powerful mage, that you would no doubt love to tease in all possible ways. You’d be smitten. She has yet to warm up to our crew, though, and she doesn’t think my pointy ears mean anything, but I’m hoping I can yet get her to see through that.

The Darkspawn count is dwindling, but the creatures continue to overstay. We have come across mindful darkspawn who can speak (again, I am not making this up). As you can imagine, that has been stealing away my sleep… More than usual.

Still, dealing with them is much more rewarding than handling the poncy nobles of Amaranthine’s arling.

Varel, my seneschal, makes the most precious faces when I begin to spin tales on them. You would not be surprised at how gullible they can be. I made a handful of them believe elven hearing is so augmented we can hear their bellies growling from afar.

But one thing is true. I can almost hear them gnawing their teeth at having to bow down to an elven mage. I truly wish you’d be here with me to make such appointments less dull. I spend over half of the time thinking up imaginative ways of assassinating the worst of them. I’m certain you’d have some interesting suggestions.

Speaking of which… How is your quest faring? 

Yours,

A.

Ps. I’ll leave it to you to heal my spleen.

Ps 2. It takes more than attempted murder for someone to win my heart. If it were that easy, I’d be married to Darkspawn by now.


	5. Z to A - Gattino

Gattino,

It is always a delight when the raven coos by the windows of my accommodations, and your words bring me closer to you. It is not nearly enough, for it does not compare to being woken up with your warm hands around me, but there is surely some comfort to be found in your letters.

However, I must admit. It is sometimes difficult to read your handwriting, when the ink blurs the page as it does. But I get giggles picturing your palm stained, and that beautiful knot you get between your eyebrows when you’re annoyed at such things. Elf, mage, and lefty. You truly are gifted by the Maker, no? 

I am broken up about not being there to witness your dealing with Ferelden nobles, or to meet this Dalish beauty you speak of. I am certain that I could get her to see past my flat ears, no? They are not quite as prominent as yours, my sweet. Besides, I know a word or two in their language -- I could easily recount all of your greatest deeds, and convince her of your prowess, amore. Perhaps even convince her into our bed, if that is your desire. Not that you can’t do that yourself… Though I must admit I would much rather you awaited my return. 

You are stuck with me, yes?

Tuo, sempre.   
Z.

PS. You are in fact practically married to Darkspawn, my Warden. And if they have learnt to talk, I cannot begin to imagine the fun you are having. They must tell the darkest jokes, yes? I can only hope there is no pillow talk involved. Even I have to draw the line somewhere.


	6. Z to A - My Warden

My Warden,

You have yet to reply to my previous letter, but I am certain you must be awfully busy with Ferelden nobles and their terrible sense of humour, the matters of the arling, or gruesome, talking Darkspawn and nasty, stinky creatures whose blood I do not miss on my clothes, no? If an archdemon cannot take you down, neither can an army of ghastly ogres. Or so I hope, yes?

Here in Antiva, things haven’t been working as planned. I’ve grown tired of being made to wait, and arrived at the conclusion that there is truly just one way to deal with the Crows, and that is playing their game... So it was time to send courteous fish to the Guildmaster. Perhaps that will get their attention, no? What do you think?

_ (( there are many scratched sentences. )) _

I debated keeping this to myself, but there is no one else I can speak to, and while it would be much better to tell you this while our thighs are tangled in each other…. Letters shall do.

I have come across knowledge that made my days grim and difficult to withstand. 

It was one thing to know I was worth nothing,  _ she _ was worth nothing. But I know now that that she was, in fact, in the way... She could have been worth something. ((scratched sentences)) Taliesen and I simply were the unknown executors of a plan to take that chess piece out of the board. I was a blind fool not to notice it before… ((more scratched sentences)) Eoman Arainai knew she was dead because  _ he _ was the one to put us to it. Not House Valisti as he said. 

I should have known.

((more scratched sentences))

It is the thought of you that keeps me going… And now more than ever, I cannot return yet.

As much as I wish I could.

Yours,   
Z.


	7. A to Z - Zevino

Zevino,

Forgive me the late reply. Things get creepier by the minute down here… I believe even Morrigan would be surprised with such strange developments. It’s getting chillier, too, and I’ve caught myself on the verge of making my bags and following after you about a handful of times. 

I cannot, however, leave Ferelden to the threat of talking Darkspawn...

As for my Warden businesses… I see I didn’t make myself clear enough in my last letter. I’ve no interest in Velanna. She may be a beautiful blond elf, but she lacks… Say… An Antivan accent? Lovely wrinkle lines on the corner of her eyes… A penchant for crass, assassination jokes? Alas. There is truly not a single person this side of the hemisphere that can heal my spleen. 

Additionally, she would probably turn me into a toad (where’s Alistair to make toad jokes with?) if she misread my interest. Or lack thereof. It is mutual. But… She is a great mage -- Knows Dalish spells that I’ve never seen before. And as of late, she’s been sharing some knowledge of her people with me. You know how curious I can get.

Besides… Their hygiene habits will never fail to baffle me.

Speaking of which, I miss our baths together… In fact, I miss every single moment with you, even the arguments. I miss you, Zev. So much.

It sounds… Redundant, so to speak… To remind you that your worth can’t be measured by what the Crows paid for you, or how many times you’ve paid it back to them, or how little they valued you. You are priceless, Zevran. You are your own, and you have power and choice in your hands. You know that, you do.... You battled an Archdemon by my side. I could not have thought to do it without your blades and poison and… You.

The Guildmaster can’t think himself a worthier target, can he?

Slaughter the damned nuglicker, for he is the one who isn’t worth more than a bunch of Darkspawn. If I were there, I would be delighted to have your back, but I am sure you can do this even without my physical presence. Know I am with you in the Fade, Zev. Every night. I am with you, always. 

Drink, sleep, go to a brothel if you need it -- I can understand that. You are resilient, my heart. And better than any of the guildmasters could ever think to be. Avenge  _ them _ if that will soothe you. Play the Crows’ game… Win. 

And then come pick me up and show me  _ your _ Antiva. 

I made a promise to see Antiva City with you, and I mean to keep it. I wish that day was now… But there is an ocean between here and there, and you know the cold chills I get… I cannot think to brave the seas on my own. But I would at your side. Come pick me up. 

I hope the beverages there are good. Even the ale here is tasteless without you.   
Yours,   
A.

PS. Do you remember the song Leliana promised she would compose for us? She’s finally delivered. I’m sending a copy so you can ask an Antivan minstrel to perform it for you. I must admit… It’s better than I expected.


	8. Z to A - My Alec, gattino

My Alec, gattino,

I imagine winter has come to your frigid Ferelden by now? It would please me much to hide from the cold in your warm, fade-touched embrace. Antiva might be hot, yet it does not feel such without you. Ma cuore è freddo senza te.

That blasted song our Orlesian minx of a friend composed is a delight!  I am particularly fond of the bit that mentions the handsome Crow, no? Your letter put me in better spirits, amore, I must admit… All this talk of you having my back? It nearly tempted me to leave matters here unfinished and board the first ship back. It would be a pleasure to bring you to... La mia amata Antiva. You’d be delighted with our food, all the spices, and the music! Ah, la musica, la danza – Tutto così bello, amore! Sono sicuro che tutto ti piacerebbe tanto.

Just today I ate a delicious fish chowder in a whorehouse, listening to the most marvelous traveling band. All of this just before three assassins attempted to murder me in the middle of the saloon. Così eccitante, almost like the books you like so much. The only thing amiss, my sweet, was that you were not there with me. It is a lot easier to stab enemies when they’ve stepped on those paralyzing glyphs of yours, no?

But if I left now, the work I’ve already begun would be for nothing. 

And you know why I must do it.

It is, however, much more work than I anticipated. 

I have come across some consequences I had not foreseen. There are some compradi -- children, adolescents, recruits that I had not anticipated would now be bereft of a nest and a job. Some think me an enemy, some a savior, most think nothing at all. They are either too young or too scared to know what to do. And I know even less. 

At times like these, I wish I had half your feline wisdom, gattino, or at least your fiber at making the tough decisions and living with the consequences. 

I figured I could arrange a ship South, perhaps to the Free Marchers, so they could find another life for themselves. What do you think?

If all goes well, I shall be going South as well, soon. There is little I would enjoy more.

Aspettami un pó, amore mio.

Tuo, completamente.

Z.


	9. A to Z - Zevran

Zevran,

There’s little time to write. The matter of the Darkspawn has taken an unexpected turn.

We march into the Deep Roads today. Your letter arrived just in time to see me off. It has put both a smile and a frown on my face. I am worried. Please remember what you mean to me, and keep safe. 

I have little time to offer you better advice, but I am afraid that leaving young people to fend for themselves may not be the best answer. They’ll pillage, whore themselves and kill to survive, as you well know. They need jobs, and Ferelden refugees have poured in large numbers into the Free Marches, so I wouldn’t recommend sending them there. 

Perhaps you can send those who would like work my way? Vigil’s Keep needs manpower, I can pull some strings in Amaranthine to employ them. And Mara and Alistair can also make jobs in Denerim, if I can convince them to hire former Crows. Send the youngest elves to the Dalish in the Free Marches, if you can get in touch with any clan -- They’re more welcoming. I wish I had more solid answers, but I barely have time.

I will write upon return.

Deal with the Crows, and come back.

Yours,

A.

Ps. Half of your letter is in Antivan, handsome. Is it really meant to me?

I’ll have to re-read it again with a dictionary when I get the time.


	10. Z to A - My beautiful Warden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING for NSFW doodles on the visual lettter!

My beautiful Warden,

I would give the best Antivan brandy to follow you, even into the blasted Deep Roads. I do not doubt your prowess at dealing with the Darkspawn in the slightest, but you must still promise me that we will tussle for nights on end upon my return.

Here, the Crows are being dealt with.  

I have sent six former compradi your way (I believe this letter should arrive before they do).... Some Antivan and Ferelden miscegenation could benefit your awful cuisine, no? The combination worked rather well for us, yes? Even if the chances of reproduction are moot.

But there are enough elven urchins about already… And I cannot send every single one of them to Ferelden.

So I’ve decided to find others like me. Disheartened former Crows, who were smart enough to figure a way out of their clutches. Who could assist with the task at hand, and with the former recruits that were left behind. The cuchillos have also reached out, and might be of assistance.

You are raising your pretty red brows right now, yes? You better be. I am rather impressed at my own wit... And it did not even take taking off my clothes to anyone, yes? Are you proud, amore? It may be that your ways have rubbed off on me during our time together, mio Comandante… 

I wish I could describe the marvelous dream I had last night. I shall give you a tip… You were there, and there was plenty of leather, and ropes… Ah… If only it were more than just a dream, no?

Tuo, sempre,

Z.


	11. A to Z - My heart

My heart,

Sinister things have happened in the past weeks.

In one same night, Vigil’s Keep and Amaranthine were both attacked by organized Darkspawn forces. I’ll explain in person how that even came to be without an Archdemon to lead them. I’d taken most of my men to Amaranthine to mitigate casualties among the population. It was a long couple of days of restless battle, and the town’s infrastructure’s been heavily destroyed.

Luckily, despite my absence, Vigil’s Keep also stands, albeit damaged, and most of my men are well. The Order has shrunk, however, as some of the Wardens have deserted me. I feel I have failed my duty to them…

You deem me wise and decisive, but I begin to question my foolishness. Wynne has always warned me of my arrogance. Perhaps I should have listened.

I thought I could do better. Should I have done things differently?

((scratched sentence))

I left this letter unfinished last night, and I now come back to it just as disheartened as before. I should simply trash it, transcribe you a sensual poem instead. Describe the naughty things I always want to do to you…

The nightmares were worse last night. I simply wish you were here. It is difficult to write things I can barely speak of. I cannot give myself much time to whine, however – One would think I have turned into Alistair. There are many who count on me yet, in the arling and in the order. 

Including the recruits you have sent my way. But you should know that only four arrived. 

The humans did not take well to me being an elven Blood mage -- And I was in no position to treat them with kindness. I apologize. But I believe hardness is often welcomed as well. I may yet be able to earn their respect. They are under Sigrun’s wing for the time being, helping with whatever they can. The Keep is merely shambles.

Now it’s my turn to bow to poncy human lords to request the funds it’ll take to rebuild.

I hope you’re faring better in your task than I have in mine.

And that I haven’t failed you too. Write back.

Yours,

A.

PS. Yes, I am very proud of you. I’ve always been. I miss you.  
(( stains of ale tankard on the corners ))


	12. Z to A - Gattino Mio

Gattino mio,

Would you believe the events you described have reached Antiva already? Yet the gossip amongst the longshoremen in Rialto and Antiva City tells an entirely different story… Of Wardens fiercely defending a Ferelden town from Darkspawn attack, no? Of no civilian deaths? The fabled Wardens’ mighty reputation continues to spread this side of Thedas, you see. I have myself witnessed an the idle elven worker mention the Hero of Ferelden and Garahel in the very same sentence.

I also might have heard a steamy rumor or two about Warden Commander Surana’s ridiculously handsome Antivan lover. Or did I actually start those? Ah, well, I can no longer recall.

What I do recall is how determined you are. You demand much of yourself, mio caro, and who am I to tell you that your best is enough -- That you’ve saved all of Thedas already? You would tell me I am biased, but have you seen yourself? What you can do? You are a force of the Fade, amore. And you have the most beautiful orchard eyes of all Thedas, no?

If you still believe you’ve failed, I won’t try and persuade you otherwise (no more than what I’ve done above already), lest you start hissing like the cat you are. Just remember that at times, failure can be the best thing to happen to a man. 

It is a lesson you can learn from me, no?

And some fearful birds fled from the cage whom I’ve come across as of late.

Some were difficult to find, but they were willing to talk.

I never promised them anything, nor did I make myself out to be a leader, like you are. I remain the best assassin Antivan has seen of late, no? But you well know planning is not my strong suit… And I’ve never had lofty and noble goals, like saving the world from the Darkspawn. But they seem to think that this business of mine would lead to something more… To power? Or some kind of freedom or redemption? 

They must be royally stupid, is what I think. Don’t tell them that I said that! But why would anyone ever follow me, if not to get a good view of my backside? 

It  _ is _ a marvelous bottom, no? It so happens to be yours, mio Comandante.

I promise you I will return to your arms as soon as it is possible.   
I’ve even bought us new ropes, yes? And some Antivan leather I hope you’ll make me chew on.

Until then, know that you remain in my every dream and every thought. Especially the impish ones.   
And to quote the handsomest redhead I’ve ever met – Don’t be ridiculous.    
You could never fail me. You have given me life anew.

Yours always,

Your Zevran.


	13. A to Z - Zevran

Zevran,

You are ridiculous. I keep staring at your handwriting and wishing I could kiss you. I am tired and a bit drunk, or maybe very drunk. So I’ll tell you a tale – Pardon the sloppy handwriting, if you will.

After begging every single lord in Amaranthine’s arling for coin (may the Void take them), I rode to Denerim last week to meet Alistair -- King Theirin. He looks ridiculous, you should see him. Though you would find him very dashing in that garb.

By the way. Mara sends you her love. She has news that I promised not to tell by letter.

As I was saying... I brought Sahae, the elven girl you sent my way, with me to Denerim. I believe she’ll fare rather well in the King’s employ. And she happened to tell me that three Guildmasters had been murdered by one “Black Shadow” in the past months! Not just Eoman Arainai. But two other Arainai guildmasters as well! 

It occurred to me that this mysterious assassin with lofty goals could be in need of another helping hand. A left hand. A healing, helping, left hand. Or two. One is right. Left is best. 

He sure needs a smacking, for selling himself short. You wonder who would follow you? I would. In fact, I am enlisting myself, effective immediately. 

Don’t worry about my Warden duties. I’ve already made sure that the Darkspawn are truly gone, and there is little that can be done at this time but rebuild the Keep. I am no builder, though, and the dwarves have grown tired of my nagging. I’ve been told I’ve been insufferable since we were attacked. Nate has taken on training the other recruits you’ve sent me. They are warming up better, but I have no interest in putting anyone else through the Joining without them knowing fully well what a Warden’s life entails. Not after Anders and Velanna have deserted the Order. 

Besides. There is no reason to recruit right now. I’ve been feeling like I’m sitting on my arse, frowning at people and snapping at everyone… You’d be calling me a wharf cat, were you here. Oghren told me to take a vacation, drink myself into a stupor, or go get laid, or go after you.

So there you have it, mio cuere (this is wrong, isn’t it?). I took Oghren’s advice, would you believe it? I’ve left Sigrun in charge for the time being and right now I find myself in a tavern, watching the ship from the window.

Maker preserve me. Did I mention I am drunk? I hope I’m numb by boarding time. And for the whole … navigation… deal. I feel like throwing up already. 

Optimistically speaking, if the ship doesn’t sink and I don’t end up drowning, we’re expected to dock in Antiva City within a week.

I believe this letter will reach you a couple of days before I do?   
  
Come meet me.   
Your Warden Commander.   
A.

PS. Just the thought of seeing you again makes my trousers tighter.

We’ll soon put your new ropes to good use.

(( stains of ale on the corners ))


End file.
